The Key to Effective Leadership (isn’t what you think it is)


Is it what you ask or when you ask a questions?

Have you ever communicated a message to your entire team expecting that each person will perform as you want them only to be disappointed in the results during a follow-up?

You may wonder, “Why can’t they understand a simple message?”

You most likely communicated to the team excellently. Some of the people performed as you hoped for but not everyone.



There is a single key to become an incredible leader for your team.

          You must deeply connect with each person individually.

Why is connecting with each person important?

Some may not admit it but literally everyone wants a leader that connects with them. Your team will do more for you if they feel that their work matters and that you value them. If you think about it a person spends more than a third of their adult life working in a career… working for you.

People are not well suited to be loners. People want to be connected to others. It is why we have friends, get married, and have a social network. Why not capitalize on something that already exists and give your followers what they want.

I am sure that on some level you are connecting with each individual on your team. So how do you deepen that connection?

The number one secret to connecting with each individual is… LISTENING

There are several training classes, books and blogs written on effective listening. If you are an effective listener then you are most likely paying attention to body language, facial expression, gestures, and voice patterns.

To go beyond being an effective listener to deeply connecting with your people you must know what actions you need to do when body language, facial expression, gestures, and voice patters change, not that those actions don’t tell a story. The secret is in the moment they change.

So how does this work…

As you pay attention to someone talking they tend to have consistent patterns in voice, gestures, facial expression, and body language. People are habitual. However, the moment one of those patterns change you must ask a simple but curious question. Yes, you interrupt them. They not only want you to interrupt them, they are begging you to.

This begins your point of connection.

It flows like this:

  1. Listen to what the person is saying
  2. Observe patterns
  3. Listen for the unsaid message
  4. Pay attention for pattern changes
  5. Ask your simple but curious question in that moment of change
  6. Wait for the person to tell you something that may surprise you
  7. Repeat over time to really anchor the connection

Once you experience this deep connection to each individual you can tailor your communication to your team by:

  • Sending the core message to the team
  • Repackaging the message to connect to each individual
  • Be more specific in both individual and team follow-up

Your work upfront will pay dividends down the road.

Chime in with your questions and comments here: Now I know I boiled down an advanced and unconventional leadership strategy in this one post, so if you want help with this? Click here

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